I haven’t written in so long. Not because I haven’t wanted to but because I haven’t been able to complete a thought. But the urge has suddenly hit, here goes. I sometimes get so mad at people that I want to scream, curse, and yell at them. I point my finger and blame them for my frustrations. But then it takes me a while, sometimes instantly to realize that it’s not their fault because most of time I know better. There’s a little voice in my head telling me not to trust or have any high expectations from certain people. But because I’m always a little hopeful and want to give them the benefit of the doubt I tell that little voice to shut up and I place myself into compromising situations. I find myself gambling what I can’t afford to lose…my sanity. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been living with cataracts my whole life and only now can I see more clearly. Rather enlightening in fact. For instance friendships, I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it but I take my friendships pretty seriously. It’s hard for me to let go of friends. So I hold on as tight as I can. It’s hard to sit and watch someone walk out of your life and shut the door behind them. It’s hard to always be there for someone and not have that same person there for you in your time of need. “If someone shows you who they are, believe them” is Maya Angelou’s advice. Depending on the situation it’s sometimes just not worth it. Some people are seasonal. They are not meant to stay in your life only to teach you a lesson and move on. I think I was watching a Tyler Perry film once and the character Madea explained it as people are like trees. There are leaves, branches and roots. The leaves are the most disposable, they blow away. Then there are branches they stick around a bit longer and are more stable but they are still liable to break and fall. Finally, are the roots those are the ones that aren’t going ANYWHERE. They are stubborn and secure. They don’t need to be seen by all but we know they’re always there. The people who are like roots in your life, you need to cherish. My problem is I’m always trying to hold on to those branches. It’s about time to let them go. I’ve truly missed this. It’s time I get back into doing things that make ME happy. I hope you all follow suit!! XoXXoXXo
