Take Off Your "Cool!"

At the ripe old age at 20 I know more now, than ever that I know nothing. I have much to learn. You never stop learning, life is nothing more than a big ole’ classroom. I don’t know sometimes I look back on some of my posts and I’m like wow maybe I’m saying a bit too much. Maybe I’m giving people a false perception of who I am. Because, I honestly do not have all the answers, like everyone else I’m growing. I may have it together in one way but lack in many other areas. I’m slowly learning that it’s okay to take off my cool sometimes and just be me. Whether you like to admit it or not a lot of us put on this façade, too afraid to show the world who we are. Everyone has different reasons, some may be afraid of being hurt while others may find it easier to blend in than to stand out. But a person who isn’t afraid to show their vulnerability is fearless! I aspire to be like this one day. I’m trying but I’m taking baby steps. And that’s okay, one day I will reach my goal. Patience. Patience is a virtue that I lack BUT I’m working on it. I’m trying my best! I’m in the fighting ring with the world and I’m throwing my best punches. Left jab, right hook. I may fall but as long as I’m still in the ring its not over, it’s never over. There will be no ties in this match. I came to win, and win I shall! I hope you all stay in the ring. Never give up! If you want something chase after it. Don’t wait. Feel the burning urge and don’t forget it. Want it. Need it. Crave it. Live in the moment. Yesterday is a memory. Tomorrow isn’t here yet. Be alive. Be present. Live not exist. My hearty appetite keeps me wanting more. I am always hungry. I am thirsty and success is my only thirst quencher. Yes, I realize that I’ve said a mouth full but please allow my words to penetrate the mind. As Lauryn Hill once said, I don’t mean to sound all ethereal because what I’m saying is heavy as bricks, concrete! Have a magical day my darlings! XoXXoXXo

Stand For Something...

So you know how you meet some people and your like "wow they’re cool" but that's it. Then you meet a rare few people where there is just an automatic "click" like just by one conversation you know they came into your life for a reason. You know that they serve a purpose. Though I do believe everyone that walks into your life serves a purpose. They pose as an educator to teach you a lesson. Whether it’s good or bad. Anyhow enough of my rambling, world meet Kimberly Hudson, she's one of those rare dying breeds. Not only is she smart but she's a knockout too! Now, that's what I'm talking about! I love someone who stands for something. And not only does Kim stand for something, she’s doing something about it. She is apart of a campaign for using education as a navigation tool for a more promising tomorrow, “The Be Positive Campaign.” Please visit there website: www.bepositivecampaign.org to learn more.

I commend all these young people who are not just sitting around and letting life past them by. We are far too often bombarded with images of gang violence and other shenanigans through the media. It warms my heart to see that there are a lot of young people who are having a positive impingement on our society. Whether it is a non-profit organization such as “The Be Positive Campaign” or just teens and young adults doing something constructive with themselves. Doing what makes them happy yet beneficial to their community. All these truly beautiful people that surround me truly inspire and remind me to never settle and to always want more out of this life. This crazy beautiful life! Anyhoo, Kim totally rocks and I am truly grateful to have met such an amazing person. And I’m sure this won’t be the last time you guys will be hearing of her. *Huge smiles.*

BEAUTIFUL!

Winter Alfresco

Hello all you beautiful people! So of course I’ve been itching to have another photo shoot for the longest but due to a hectic schedule it wasn’t possible until recently. Not only did I have a free day but my model and stylist did as well, PERFECT! Anyhow, the aspiring model of this shoot is my darling Jamelia. She was doll to work with. She chucked it out in the FREEZZING cold just to model these pictures with very if any complaints. She took direction and added her own element to her poses. Who wouldn’t want her for a model? Not to mention she is a total beauty! And of course the lovely and talented Vivian once again failed to disappoint. She ensembles all the looks presented. Okay, I must give credit where credit is due. With this said I would like to thank my mom, dad lol just kidding. But I must credit Vivian for turning my vision into a reality. I created a picture for her and she was able to deliver exactly what I wanted. She picked the locations of the shoot. She truly is the best! All in all I am in awe of these ladies.  

In addition, I must say I worked pretty hard on editing these pictures. It was especially hard because I never edited pictures before. I TRIED my very best and experimented with a few of the photos. I think I did a pretty decent job considering the fact that I don’t have Photoshop or anything like that as yet. I also watermarked them, which took me a couple of hours to do. All in all I’m pretty proud of the way everything turned out. No, its nothing fancy because I am not a professional photographer and I know nothing about graphical design BUT I did it by myself so…*pats on back.* 

LOOKING LIKE A MILLION BUCKS <3

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The Simple Life

A lot of things are really starting to get on my nerves. Normally I wouldn’t broadcast my opinions. Because I personally feel that some people should keep their perspectives on things to themselves. BUT in my world there are no worries lol. So, I must say I HATE a flashy guy! I hate when a guy sincerely walks as if he doesn’t want to piss the ground off. Like they are totally self-absorbed. And not the healthy, “Yes I know what I want out of this life and I’m on my grind” healthy kind of cocky. But the “Umm do you see the Louis on my feet? Did you peep the logo on my clothes? Maybe I should show you the stacks in my wallet? Oh did you see the logo of the wallet too?” Like seriously? STOP the madness! It’s so juvenile and I’m not impressed. And shame on the females that literally drool over a guy just because of that. I have a special place in my heart for a humble guy. I’m not saying you can’t have all these things but sheesh could you be a little more humble about it? I’ll take a guy in some Maison Martin Margiela sneakers over Gucci shoes. I’ll take a Bottegga Veneta leather wallet over Louis Vuitton. Hell, I’ll take some dope Nike sneakers above it all! Just because you wear those high-end brands does not mean that you have STYLE. Anyone could throw any ole logo on, but how did you “swag it out?” BTW, I am starting to dislike this “swag” word. My, my you really do change, as you grow older. I remember when I use to look down at a guys feet and if he wasn’t wearing Jordan sneakers he was just not cool enough for me. This was YEARS ago. But I have fallen victim to the hype. Kay at 20 years old is OVER IT! I would have thought everyone else in my age group would be over it by now too. I guess not. I guess only I would prefer a Steve Urkle to a Stefan. I LOVE a dorky, corny dude. You know the kind that is just too cute when he’s not even trying to be. I love a corny from the heart line over “game.” All right I am not going to lie, a guy with a car is always a great asset because a car is VERY convenient. HOWEVER, it is not a necessity. We could make taking the train an adventure. You don’t have to buy me a plane ticket to Paris. I’m fine with a trip to the museum. You do not ALWAYS have to spend money to have a good time. I adore a movie and/or a game night. What ever happened to staying at home playing Scrabble then watching a movie that you circled on the TV Guide earlier on in the week? Now, don’t get me wrong I do enjoy going out just as much as everyone else. BUT it’s the person that your spending time with that matters. I heart a mentally stimulating conversation. I have the best time with friends when we are just chatting it up. I live for those moments. I praise a “just checking in on you” text from a friend. It’s the simple gesture that you thought of me, could sincerely make my day. Ahh the simplicity of my desires! Food for thought, pay attention to detail. The simple things add up, believe me! Enjoy your day! XOXXOXXOX

Open The Door & Let The Light In...

Okay, Okay I know I’ve probably mentioned Kanye West a bit too many times. But I’m truly a great admirer of his. I remember when I came across a post he had on his blog earlier last year, shortly after the passing of the great Alexander McQueen. This is what he wrote:

I’m on the plane listening to The College Dropout. It brings back so many memories. When we made it, I had all 6 parents, 4 grandparents and my mom and dad. Now I have my dad and my grandfather. Music is so nostalgic. Every song I listen to brings me back to when I first played them for my mom, when I first played them for Dame, when I first played them for Jay, When I first played them for Kweli, When I first played them for my n*ggas back in Chi, When the album first came out, When I first called Ebro from Hot 97 and begged him to play Through The Wire, When DJ Pharris blew me up in the Chi.

We used to be the n*ggas rocking polo shirts, Louie backpacks, paper denim jeans and exclusive Adidas from Sporty LA. We were the Underdogs. I never feel like I’m not the Underdog. I never felt completely comfortable. I’m tormented by the need to create. With the loss of McQueen I feel like we lost one of the faces of modern creativity’s Mount Rushmore. There were times that the only thing that kept me on this earth was the need and responsibility to create. Maybe McQueen felt his job was done because his last collection was the greatest of the decade. We are all so hurt. I know we’re selfish because he brought us so much joy and inspiration.

I know how it feels when the night demons come. We can’t let them control our hands and feet. Sometimes when it hurts so bad we have to just lay in the bed. Just lay in bed and don’t move Please, I know how it feels. I wish McQueen could have just been still. Don’t let the psychiatrists give you their drugs because it slows down your wings. Society and public opinion can beat the wings off of angels. When God sees they can’t take it anymore, he brings them home.

During this new album process sometimes I turn the music up and drink and cry. When something sounds so amazing and ground-breaking, I’m reminded of Why I live. I drink the pain of Now 2 Generations and breathe our melodies and messages. The music keeps us alive. I was blessed with the opportunity to bring my and others dreams to life. It’s like performing magic or something. It’s surreal. We bring the unrealistic to reality. Go Hard Go Hard Go Hard echoes in my dreams. When I wake up and brush my teeth and look in the mirror it’s like I see Michael and My Mom and Malcolm…Who’s that African in the background Mom? Oh, He created the original layouts for the pyramids, But was written out the history books and his MTV Award was given to “Aliens”.

There’s no such thing as fact anymore.

Now, is it only I who can relate with what Mr. West refer to as “demons”? I can honestly say these same demons torment me. The burning desires of wanting to become something GREAT in this life. The disquieting feeling of never feeling satisfied. To always wanting more. To always feeling the need to improve upon myself, to better myself. Disclaimer: I am NOT saying I’m suicidal or anything like that. I’m just saying I know how it feels to truly WANT something BBAADDLLY! As I’m sure pretty much everyone can. I’m sure everyone wants at the very least one thing out of this life. Right? Well of course! And I swear I’ve always told people that music brings nothing but nostalgia to my life in particular throwback songs. Like I am literally transcended into the time and place when I first heard the song. Whether it was a high or low point in my life, I remember it all! I don’t know the human mind is just so, so magnificent! Through it all this life is truly the sweetest thing I’ve ever known! XOXOXO

Alexander McQueen & Kanye West

A Letter To The World

Dear World,

I’ve decided to create my OWN universe and live in it! I have gladly ostracized myself from your world and I’m in the midst of creating a piece of heaven in my very own universe. 2010 has been a year of bumpy rides, twist and turns, highs and lows. Now for 2011 I’m soaring through the skies blindfolded. No cares. No worries. Just living - freely. Message to all, I encourage you to try it! Screw the opinions of others, live by your own got damn rules! *Channeling Kanye West.* CAN’T tell me NOTHING! In my world…ahem *clears throat* UNIVERSE you don’t wait for anything. YOU make it happen! Enough with all that gossip-gossip its time to profit-profit! I’m sick of flapping my gums its time for my feet to do all the work. Simply talking about it isn’t enough if you don’t act on it. So in MY universe there are no chairs because there is no time to rest. My ambition is my fuel. I’ve thrown my fears away in 2010 so there is nothing holding me back. VROOM, VROOM! BTW, HAPPY NEW YEARS! =D