Cloud Of Doubt

I don’t want anyone to think that I am always hopeful and cheery. That simply wouldn’t be realistic. I too become doubtful of the future. It does at times seem dreary and gruesome. I too am skeptical of the days ahead. I know that this life isn’t always welcoming, while good things come in three's so do the bad. I know that life will kick you down bruise your knees and leave you breathless. I know that my open and awaiting arms will have a few scrapes and scars. I know that my fingers will grow callous climbing the mountain of success trying to hold on as life’s obstacles try to pry my fingers off. I am aware of these things. And there are times when I completely break down because it seems too hard. The tears of fear and anxiety stream down my face. These moments are the hardest. But I allow myself to have these moments. I allow myself to break down. But I don’t permit myself to stay in that state. I agree to let one last tear trickle down my cheek. Then I tell myself, “That’s enough!” I wash my face with cool fresh water, and walk out of the bathroom. Don’t bother using a towel. I love the sensation of the light breeze kissing me all over the face, drying it. I am ready once more, only to have the same moments occur again days later. See, these moments happen and will continue to happen. But I can’t let them define me. Obstacles and challenges are placed before us to weed out the weak. How we handle ourselves during these times separate and divide us. Some will get knocked down and stay down. Others will find the strength and courage it takes to get right back up. Everyone wants. We all have wants and desires but not everyone deserves. I don’t want my success to come by chance or sheer luck. I want to deserve it. And the lengths it took me to get there will forever humble me. XoXXo